Friday, September 29, 2006

My secret

The time has come for me to confess all.

For many years I've had this secret fascination. It was only a few weeks ago, in casual conversation with my brother, that I found out I am not alone in my feelings.

Yes, you've guessed it, I am a crane fan. I've said it now and it feels good to be out in the open. I know exactly how it must feel for one of those chaps who confesses to a murder 50 years after it took place. Even though no one suspected him he felt a need to cleanse his soul and move on.

There was a rather tragic accident in London this week when a crane toppled over killing 2 people. It prompted a brief crane discussion between me and one of my business partners and I discovered, after almost 20 years, that he holds a candle for the odd crane too. This is good news for me. I don't actually mean that the discussion took 20 years, just that I've known him for 20 years and never knew we shared this crane thing. A 20 year discussion would be unheard of and ridiculous, unless it was a peace process or something like that.

I know that there must be others who are continually captured by these marvels of engineering. How they are built and how they work are things that only proper engineers or crane drivers actually understand. Or intelligent people. I have watched programmes on "men's" cable TV channels that attempt to explain the intricacies of cranes to simpletons but I remain intrigued, which is probably a good thing. Never meet your heroes they say. If I understood the counterbalances and the other finer details then the mystery would be gone and a crane would be just something used by builders. Like a drill.

There are websites, magazines and all sorts dedicated to cranes. Although that isn't saying much as there are websites dedicated to pretty much everything these days. I should know, I'm a drummer. But I know that there are many others out there who share my crane fetish. So, if you're one of them then get in touch and let's form a club.

I'll leave you with a handy tip. It might just save your reputation.

If you happen to be browsing a crane website at work and you're worried about getting caught, simply open another screen with some hardcore porn on it. Then, if interrupted, you can quickly switch to the porn screen and everyone will think you are totally normal, not some kind of crane pervert.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nice blog!

N said...

umm...not so big on cranes, but trebuchets (I think thats how u spell it)...now those are bloody awesome!

Rhythmic Diaspora said...

N - Trebuchets?? - I haven't got a clue what you mean, please enlighten me.

N said...

trebuchets are basically the mother of all catapults...used to throw gigantic stones and in some innovative cases diseased bodies over and into cities in the good 'ol days...check here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trebuchet

I think I've spent too long playing Age of Empires:)

Just Mal said...

Modern phallic worship.

Rhythmic Diaspora said...

n - Aha! - I know the things. I prefer cranes but I can see why you might like them.