Hitting All My G Spots..

And by "G" I mean those spots that make me go "Grrrrr".

I'd like to ask you. my reader, if the email I'll chuck into this post, after giving you the background, winds you up as much as it does to me. Or am I just being overly pedantic and fussy?

I deal with one of those job agencies, the sort that supplies temporary staff as and when a company like mine needs them. Now I should clarify something here; as far as I'm concerned there are three specific groups of people that are as close to vermin as I can comprehend. And I've met many individuals within these groups who are genuinely nice, warm and friendly people, it's just, put them in their work environment and they act like wankers.

They are (in no particular order) car dealers, recruitment consultants (which includes temp agencies) and estate agents. The keen and intelligent among you will have already spotted that the aforementioned email, the email I mentioned before that is, was from one of my most disliked industry types to start with, not a good place to begin.

So why do you even deal with these people RD? I hear you asking. Well it's because I have to. My company needs a sporadic supply of temporary staff and one of my responsibilities is to organise it. Life is like that. I've had to buy cars and deal with estate agents too. I've dealt with this particular temp agency for some years. Their incompetence never fails to impress. They're so incompetent that they'd probably come last in an incompetence competition.

But I stick with them. Better the devil you know and all that. They may be incompetent but some of the staff they supply are good and know the work involved. It's a bit like buying the car you really want or the house you love from an imbecile.

On Sunday night, yes Sunday night, I receive the following email from my contact at this agency. At first my reaction was one of a niggling feeling, a sort of strain around my balls, just that slight discomfort. I paid little heed to it for, as a man, I'm used to uncomfortable balls, that constant need to adjust and move them around.

But the niggling continued. Yesterday I had to read the thing again and I felt myself getting wound up by it. It's strange, you know me, I'm as mild mannered and easy going as a Dairylea triangle with a dollop of mayonnaise on top, but this has affected me.

I've pondered on it, trying to work out the logic and rationale behind the feelings. It's a combination of a few things; first it's the fact that the chap has sent it to a load of people who I assume to be his customers and let us all see each others email addresses and names, something I consider to be a large breach of professionalism.

Secondly there's the fact that he goes along the "I work so hard, never having holiday and am so dedicated to my job" approach, something I really don't care about, as I don't know the guy that well at all.

Next is his poor grammar and generally appalling linguistics. Saying "there" instead of "their", randomly using a capital L at the start of the word "Leave" and total ignorance about sentence. Construction.

Lastly the way he's used the "Mr" titles in front of his colleagues' names. It seems to be some sort of in joke, one that isn't really that funny anyhow.

Terrible. Here it is, with certain bits omitted because I, despite my intense dislike, still have a sense of what I should and shouldn't put out for all to see:

Dear All,

I know its not very often but F.... has actually given me Leave for 2 weeks, I know it's hard to believe but trust me it is true so my colleagues I will be away from the 2nd July and will be back on the 16th of July and will be leaving you with the very capable hands of Mr C......... W.... and Mr D... B...... to deal with any staff coverage. There contact details are as follows:

D...@........  on xxxxxxxxxx or C...@.......  on .....................

Kind Regards

There it is. What do you think?