You know me well enough to realise that appearance matters to me. A chap can't polish a turd but I do like to make an effort in my dress, to at least pretend that there's some sense of style about the RD persona. Not that I actually wear a dress, unless you consider a sarong to be one.
Bearing all of this in your mind you can imagine how hard it is for me to face up to this painful truth; yes, I think I might be losing my, ahem, hair. Not a problem, I hear you say. Well it is a problem, for I like hair, except when I find it in food.
Actually it probably started about five years ago. A and K would tease me and say that I had a bald spot. I, being the face facts and deal with things head on sort of guy that I am, just denied everything, convincing not just them but also myself that it was just the way my hair had always grown. Then I spent a few years with a shaved head, which can disguise things and fool a fellow and all his friends.
I don't mean that I kept a shaved head in my bed next to me in a Godfather and horse's head way either. I mean that I had a few years of maintaining my hair at about a level zero, in terms of clippers. When in the motherland I could walk into any high class hairdresser and ask for a "Blacker" and the barber would instantly know what I wanted, though on several occasions I did have to make a special request for no extras.
After some time I got bored of the shaven look and thought I'd make a last ditch attempt to grow the old head turf. I did and things were okay, in a going slightly bald on top but no big deal kind of way. I experimented with a few hairstyles, from short with a balding area to shorter with a balding area to long with a balding area. You can probably see the link.
I did this for a couple of years and then got bored again. This was a couple of months ago. So I went back to the shaved approach. I don't like it, if I may be honest with you, and the RD locks are now growing in a rather wild and carefree way, with balding area. Well you know, as much as they can.
I've decided to face up to things. Things are that I am losing my hair, not big time, not dropping out in huge clumps all over the show, but it's fading at the top and sides. Scientific research tells me that it's classic male pattern baldness, something that comes to most men with age. It's a bastard shit bummer as far as I'm concerned because the other thing that I'm facing up to is the fact that I do want to have hair. I don't want a big shiny spot that can cause eclipses and other drivers to veer off the road because of too much glare. I don't want Dominic Sansoni to have to open up his lens by a stop next time he's taking pictures of me just because of the glare coming off my bonce.
I want a hairstyle. I want to be able to buy product and use it. I want to play Uprising by Muse at a gig and look as though I'm playing music I like, not music my grandchildren like.
Apparently there are a million trichology clinics all around London. They all say that they can do things to stop further loss and maybe encourage regrowth. For some reason I wouldn't want to get a hair transplant, that's one side of a boundary that I don't want to cross. I've emailed one of them, had an online consulation, which means not much really, and been told that I should come for a free consulation. But I've yet to book my "free consultation" at the clinic.
There's no such thing as a free consultation is there?. I know I'll go there and get told that they can probably help me, though there'll be no guarantees. I know it will be expensive, I know the money could be spent more wisely on other things, like Superdry clothes or poor people or something.
What do you think?
Should I stick, twist or gamble?
Or, failing all of that, should I make an appointment for a consultation at the hair place?
Vut too doo?