Monday, April 19, 2010

Help Us, It's Getting Desperate Here!!

There's a weird thing going on in these parts. Having spent most of my life in West London I'm used to the sight and sound of aircraft. I actually like the noise, it's been a backdrop for much of my history. I missed the regular ear splitting sound of Concorde taking off at about six each evening and I spent many a day in my childhood eagerly jotting down registration numbers of the soaring silver beasts.

Stick me in a foreign country, one that doesn't have planes flying over its capital at an altitude of about thirty feet and a frequency of about three a minute, and I feel reassured when I actually do get to see an aircraft, as if I've got back to civilisation. All a bit mad I know.

It's Sunday afternoon as I write this little postette to you. Iceland has had its volcanic eruption and, as things stand I haven't heard or seen a plane for about four days. West London without planes is quieter and that bit more peaceful, it's lacking that smell of aircraft fuel in the atmosphere that we're so used to. There's none of that pausing in the middle of a telephone conversation until the noise passes or turning the TV up for a few seconds until things go quiet again.

In this United Kingdom of so many millions of people I even feel a little stranded. One of my business partners got stuck here unable to get a flight back to his home in Ireland. He ended up taking a train and a ferry at three in the morning to get home for a wedding. He had to pull several strings just to get a ticket for the ferry. Academic Bro is currently stuck in the US of A unable to get back to London.

Facebook is littered with tales of woe. Friends who can't go on their holiday or their weekend break, drummers who can't get into the UK for gigs, shows that have had to be cancelled and best men who haven't been able to get to their brother's wedding.

It's not just us either, most of Northern Europe is suffering too, though they can travel within Europe far more easily than we can here. We've got ferries and the channel tunnel, all of which are full to the brim with people trying to escape either or get home.

I'm beginning to wonder how long we can last like this, alone on this small island. There's only a finite amount of supplies and resources. I don't want to panic but these things have to be said and the worst must be planned for.

I suppose the internet can keep us connected to the rest of the world for a while but sooner or later we'll need new MacBooks and even PCs. With no supplies available we'll just have to make do with last generation models. What if the first supplies of the iPad don't get into the country? The kids will live in a state of maltechnonutrition, forced to gaze for hours on end at images of their American cousins gorging themselves on new gadgets.

But what will happen when the UK's supplies of the iPhone run down? Will people resort to buying other phones or will anarchy break out, street violence and chaos like in House of Fashions on a sale day?

Please, I urge you. Send whatever you can spare to us before it's too late. We're not fussy. Any brand of flatscreen LCD TVs, anything with the Apple logo, designer clothing (only current stuff, not last year's collections). Drum related things too will be needed soon, particularly snare drums and new cymbals. Essentials like trainers, though only Nike, Adidas, Converse and certain lines by K Swiss are required sooner rather than later.

And lots of rice and curry would be handy if you wouldn't mind as well.

Thanks all, have a good Monday out there. I hope this message in a bottle gets found by someone before it's too late.


N said...

You could always eat the Royal family if things got really, really desperate.

Rhythmic Diaspora said...

It's an idea N, but the Royal family leaves a bit of an aftertaste.

T said...

Charles looks pretty sour.

PseudoRandom said...

I'll take Prince Harry if no one else wants him :D

Dunno if you listen to Radio 1, RD, but apparently the solution to all our ash-related woes is to offer Justin Bieber as a sacrifice to the volcano. I think we should throw in Jedward as well, just in case one annoying brat isn't enough for Mount That-Which-We-Cannot-Pronounce. Anyone else you'd like to sacrifice? :D

Rhythmic Diaspora said...

Ah yes PR, several lead guitarists and a few singers to start!