Thursday, March 31, 2011

Territorial Pissings

I know it's a bit of a luxury but I have two bathrooms in my apartment. Attached to my bedroom is an en suite one, the sort that can only be accessed by going into my bedroom first. Though it's not at the back of the bedroom, it's one of those ones that you get to by going into the bedroom for just a couple of steps, then turn right and enter. To make things easy I'll refer to it as bathroom 47 from now on.

And, attached to the only other bedroom is another bathroom. This one has two doors; one coming off the bedroom and the other coming off the front hall. So it's an en suite and a communal one. Again to make things easy I'll call it bathroom 32.

When I was apartment hunting I realised that two bathrooms, though not essential, were pretty damn important. With two teenage girls frequenting my place, albeit sporadically, there were practical as well as timing considerations.

Girls like to go into bathrooms and do whatever it is they do. For ages. And then for a bit longer.

Men, we like to go in, have a dump, stink the place out, then leave. We like to read drum magazines and books, though we do draw the line at laptops or electronic readers. We like to sit and ruminate on the important issues in life; cars, women, sport and music.

And the two don't mix.

Secondly I realised that I like my own bathroom. I like to have a room where I and my loved ones can go and chuck out a few ablutions, not necessarily at the same time.

I'm happy for C or the girls to use bathroom 47, just not strangers, or even people that I know quite well.

I had thought things would be easy. A and K mostly use bathroom 32 as it's attached to their room. Sometimes they go into bathroom 47 and that's okay too. C, when she's around, tends to use bathroom 47 and again, that's okay with me, though I often have to drop a particularly nasty log to get rid of the smell of womens' perfume that wafts around after she's been in.

When there are visitors, should they need to point percy at the porcelain, I point them to bathroom 32 and all is good.

The system, not to be confused with the cistern, works. In fact, it almost works perfectly.

It's just that word, the "almost" that bothers me.

Look, I know they made me, gave birth to me, brought me up and whatnot, but still, and I probably shouldn't be telling you this, my parents' bathroom of choice is.............yes bathroom 47. Can you believe that? And it bothers me.

When I first moved in my Dad was pointed, to the extent that I even held the door open, firmly towards B32. He ignored me, went into B47 and it's been that way ever since. My Mum has followed suit. What can I do? They're my olds, I can't really tell them they're to use the other bathroom. But I kind of wish I could steer them gently towards B32.

Last weekend K had a friend staying over. On Saturday morning she said to me, in front of the aforementioned friend, "Oh Dad, is it okay if F has a shower in your shower?"

Well I tell you I was flabbergasted, with a capital flabber, though I didn't write it. I stuttered and faltered a little, then said, in a firm and assertive manner

"Yes of course it is K" After all I'm still British in many ways.

When F was in the shower I spoke to K to ask why, trying not to sound all territorial and eccentric, as if I was a bit of a nutter. She said something quite reasonable about the shower head in B32 not being very good. I told her that it was unacceptable, that guests had to use B32 and that B47 was only for me, C, A and K (when urgent).

At least that's what happened in my head. In reality I said something like "oh okay then, fair enough".

What do you reckon?

Anyone else have this territorial bathroom thing going on?




7 comments:

maya❤ said...

The dlemma ! I can relate ( although am not as blessed as you). I live in a one bed room one loo apt. The loo in my case is not attached to the bed room but I still don't love the idea of friends using my space...especially guy friends. I'm so anal ( for the lack of a better word) about this...hence don't have people over too often and I do think I need to relax a bit...but CAN'T unfortunately. I really think a woman deserves her own bathroom away from her guy's stinky business...that's for sure.
PS : wow...you're writing...very uncandid...takes a Brit to be up in your face that way ( & I mean that in a complimentary sense...)

David Blacker said...

Well, my last flat had two bathrooms, but neither was en suite (or attack, as they're called in SL) to my bedroom, so it didn't matter who used which. My current flat's smaller and has just one loo. It does have two doors though, one of which is glass and opens onto a balcony so that it feels as if you're actually having a crap outdoors (on a balcony). Hope that was helpful, RD.

Cadence said...

Yes! The Fiance and I are doing up the new house and I made sure that the one close to the master bedroom (which was detached by the bedroom wall) was torn down and made 'attached' (ensuite if you may!)

So the one upstairs is just ours and the one downstairs (communal as u term it) is for anybody else visiting... and I'm doing ours in Slate Grey and the communal one in Black :D Can't wait to see them done!!! My folks raised both eyebrows when I said 'Full black with white fittings and Full grey with White fittings' They both pretty much have the same facilities and trimmings and from what I've been told by a few people (read Friends,Contractor and an Interior Designer friend) sounds more masculine for something designed by a woman! atleast my Fiance will be pleased! :)

The length of this comment clearly shows how passionate/obsessed I am about loos!!!

Scrumps said...

I know what you mean. We have an upstairs and a downstairs bathroom. The downstairs is for guests and the upstairs is for us. Just because you're sleeping upstairs doesn't mean you get to use the upstairs bathrooms. I have issues!

Rhythmic Diaspora said...

Maya - In which case, if I ever come to your pd, I'll remember to pee before I get there!

DB - Thanks, I never knew they're called "attack" in SL. There's little better than an open air poo!

Cadence - The response suggests it's not just you and I that are obsessed about these things for sure.

Scrumps - see above!

Gutterflower said...

As long as you leave it clean and tidy, I'm alright with people using my loo.

Clearly I'm alone on this one!

David Blacker said...

Yep, "bedroom with attacked toilet".