Sri Lankanisms - Number 5

So far in this series I have covered the more obvious Sri Lankanisms I can think of. Words like "chee" and phrases like "What to do" have been discussed and pondered on.

Now I must instigate a movement away from the obvious and on to slightly more obscure choices. Cynical types might point at me and say

"Ah, that fellow has run out of stuff and he's now scraping the barrel"

They'd be right, but barrels can be useful. Where would the fun lie in rolling over Nigara falls without one? Chaps would just die immediately. How would pubs take in their beer deliveries? Brewery lorries would pull up and there'd be lager, bitter and all sorts of yeasty things leaking all over the pavement. So I'm sorry, but I make no apologies.

But, you know the old "So what are you doing now, are you still studying?" conversation. Not so much a conversation as a series of questions thrown in your direction, the answers will be forgotten as soon as you have left the room, sometimes even before.

At the age of forty I have now got to the stage where most of my old Aunts and Uncles don't ask me whether I'm studying, after twenty something years they have finally realised that I work, raise children and do other adult type stuff. Of course the fact that I have a brother who is an academic, and therefore thirty something and still studying, confuses these olds big time. I'm not entirely sure whether it counts as still studying or what.

The smarter and more "with it" people remember what I do and listen to my answers. With others I just repeat the answers I gave them a few months ago to the very same questions. In recent years I've discovered the turn of phrase to take care of everything, the choice three words that satisfy their curiosity yet actually say nothing.

Here in England, when asked the question, I have to answer in some detail. This is particularly tiresome as I am involved in an industry that lacks glamour. International Mail is just not high up there on the list of options for the glamorous and adventurous. On the scale of excitement it falls some place between Chartered Accountant and Formula One driver, slightly closer to one than the other. But here, when asked what you do, it's usually because the other party is interested. So the answer is quite detailed, maybe incorporating some facts about the company as well as the industry.

Things in Sri Lanka are very different. When confronted by someone of a higher generation and an inquisition comes your way, you are faced with some options. You can engage in a full scale two way conversation. This has the possible advantage that the old Uncle may just remember it next time you meet and ask you how the Brain surgery / motor trade / arms smuggling business is going these days. The disadvantages are untold, but include endless advice along the lines of "you must speak to so and so who's a good friend of mine", etc.

You can choose not to engage. This has a high risk factor too. Specifically the danger that the Uncle will think of you as rude or he'll just take a disliking to you. Something no young man wants to risk when starting out.

But, if you use the three magic words wisely, all the problems disappear as if by magic.

"So what are you doing these days?"

"I'm in business Uncle"

I know, that is actually four words, but I added in the "Uncle" for effect. I can do these things, it's my blog.

The principle is there though. Those words "I'm in business" just seem to cover anything in Sri Lanka, you can be up to anything, from driving a Tri Shaw to being Chairman of an international organisation. As long as you work for yourself the words cover it, no further questions will be asked and the conversation will go off on a different direction.

In business. I love it!