Dave Grohl and The Food Writers

I spent a lot of yesterday watching the Live Earth concert, particularly the coverage from Wembley Stadium. I reckon many of us Londoners are suffering from overexposure to big Wembley "occasion" gigs, what with the Diana one last week and this one this week.

The thing with the one yesterday was that it failed to deliver a message. I say that and I assume that there was a message that was meant to be delivered, possibly a big and incorrect assumption. I hope it has helped in increasing awareness about global warming and that it does do some good, my feeling is that it's too wishy washy, too general and should have been more focussed on a specific point, one like "try to walk to work one day a week" or something. Of course that may only be a good idea for people who don't do that already, not people who currently do it for five days a week.

Dave and the Foo Fighters were as stonking as ever. But they are definitely a hard band to watch live when sitting with parents, unless you're one of my daughters.

"Who are these Rhythmic?" said my Mum as the opening chords to "All my Life" blasted out, the whole of Wembley stadium started to go wild and I got seriously excited at seeing two of my favourite drummers in the world playing for the same band.

"The Foo Fighters Mum" I said. I knew I was in for some adventure now.

"Who?" she said. I repeated the answer, as it was still them.

"Who, the Food Writers?" she asked.

"No Mum, the Foo Fighters" I said, as I chuckled at the thought of Delia Smith, Nigella Lawson and Jamie Oliver forming a band.

"The Food Fighters?" she said.

"No, THE FOO FIGHTERS" I was on the verge of shouting, just on that cusp where you can go either way and I often do.

She heard me, made some motherly noises about the stupidity of that band's name, then we carried on watching. My Dad made continual remarks along the lines of "What happened to music?" along with lots of scornful sniffs and sarcastic laughs at Dave's voice. I didn't get involved, it wasn't worth it. Besides I was also too engrossed in the great Mr Hawkins' drumming. Theena, if Led Zep do reform I think he's the man for the job, either him or the singer chap in the Foos.

But, there was one important aspect to the day, an important debate and one which I'll keep thinking on.

The battle of the arses.

There was Shakira. Very tight, with some fine muscular defintion. She's got some movement in her too. I think it's important to acknowledge that Shakira is more than just breasts and bum though. Yes, that stomach is a bit special too. Like many men I was at first dissapointed to see that there was no revealing costume, no flesh on show. But, within seconds of appearing on stage looking like some kind of Sunday school teacher, Shak had hoisted up her T shirt to show a tummy that many a 14 year old will be fantasising about for a good few years.

Also we had a fine show from the Pussycat Dolls. There were high heels, busts thrust everywhere and tight lycra all over the show as they danced their way on stage to deliver their serious message about global warming. They were interviewed by Jonathan Ross later and he asked them if they were helping global warming by cutting back on hairspray. They thought he was serious, I laughed, then felt a bit of sympathy when I remembered that they don't have sarcasm in the US. Sting doing politics and eco stuff is one thing, we can look at him with a serious face. The Pussycat Dolls is a different matter.

Then came Madge. Watching her these days is like being called into the office for a bollocking from the female boss that you fancy like mad. Kind of weird.

Legendary? Yes. Sexy? Definitely. Would I let her sleep with me? Mmmm.. I'm not sure at all. In her black dress and slightly dressy shoes she looked like someone's Mum, not that woman who did all that stuff with breasts and stuff. When she did "Ray of Light" and played guitar throughout it she looked like a cleaning lady dressed up to go to a dance and caught playing air guitar on the way out of the house. Just not right, just uncomfortable. But, when she did that La Isla Bonita, with the fake gypsies, it was more like the old Madonna. Of course we all knew they weren't real gypsies. They didn't crap in the corner of the car park.

By the time she finished that song and went into that next one, "Hung up" things were better. She can call me into the office for a strict telling off in that state anyday.

The easy winner for me was Fergie.

I didn't see the performance much but I did see Fergie, she was great. There's a dirty sexiness to her that will do nicely. The sort of woman that oozes sexuality and demands looks. She gets those looks too. Easily number one for me.

And she can sing.

PS - Don't leave your TV on standby tonight.