Thursday, November 12, 2009

The Best Chat Up Line Ever?

I read the good Lady D's post here and was reminded of a chat up line, one that I reckon is the best one ever. Well, that's from a man's point of view, but it's well known how I'm able to virtually read the mind of almost any woman, except for the ones I've actually met of course.

It's a chat up line that I've never had the opportunity to use or try, but my feeling is that it could be the golden shower of all chat up lines, the holy grail, the one line to make all others look like the tri shaw occupying a corner in the Ferrari garage.

And frankly I don't know if I should tell you what it is. I don't know if you're up to the job, whether I can stand the thought of giving out this bit of stunningly lethal information and then sitting back with the knowledge that fellows will be out in public using it, bedding one beautiful woman after another.

It's a line that would take guts and courage for a man to use, not everyone would have the confidence to come out with it. It's the chat up line version of doing the most fantastic bungee jump; you'd just have to go for it, knowing that the rope would hold you and you'd have the best and most wonderful experience.

In fact, with some minor modification it could probably be used by men, women, gay or straight. It's so powerful that I reckon even some bloggers could use it to good effect.

What is it?

Not telling you. You can guess if you want though. Or bribe me.


Dee said...

mmmm....let me guess "Hey, How YOU doin?" or.. "Hey, wanna come see me at my....(wait for it) drumming gig?" I must say THAT is hot.

and now i shall share a line I was NOT hooked on - "Hey dee...wanna go...(wait for it) fishing with us (me)?"

I was thinking...RIGHT.

Sach said...

I know it. But I'm not telling it here cos then you'll want me. Not the most entertaining thought.

David Blacker said...

I recently watched some Hollywood romantic comedy called "My Best Friend's Girlfriend" or something, bit crap, but there's this superb line this guy uses in a bar, when talking to a blonde and a brunette. He turns to the blonde and says "Ooh look at you, all thin and white. I bet if you were laid out on this bar, she could snort you."

Gallicissa said...

I have sent you an e-mail.

Anonymous said...

'Hey, I'm gay!'

GAWD RD, you thought WE wouldn't know? rofl!

Anonymous said...

I saw this on a movie about a ship and a radio station on the telly, can't remember its name.

you have to have amazing sexual appeal to carry this out. RD you might succeed.

You meet a girl, don't talk, maintain eye-contact, but don't utter a word, and then when she looks like she's about to leave, you say 'how about it then?'. Bang. you bed her!

ViceUnVersa said...

'So how was heaven when you left?'

I find that to be a good icebreaker...


Rhythmic Diaspora said...

Dee - Sorry but I can't leave a long reply as I have to practice for my erm drumming gig next week.

Sach - An entirely mutual feeling mate!

DB - the thought of you sitting down and watching a Hollywood romcom has made me smile. Did you eat a big bar of chocolate too?

Anon - Nope.

Amila - By the time you'll have read this we'll have communicated by email. Use with caution.

Anon 2 - Thanks a million for your confidence in my ability to use this but I fear I would be lucky to get away with a slap in the face, maybe a court appearance for harrassment also.

DD - I worry for you, really I do. GM2U x

Gypsy said...

Nice legs. What time do they open?

It's a terrible pick up line. But it's kinda hilarious.

Lady divine said...

LOL at gypsy..:)

SO...what would the bribe have to be? ;)

no wait..maybe better not to know...:)

Sean said...

"...the the golden shower of all chat up lines"???


Isn't that's a bit risqué for your usually PG posts RD?

Rhythmic Diaspora said...

Gyps - that is so terrible!

LD - A bath packet should do the trick!

Sean - Thank you, I'm glad someone noticed that line, I'm particulary proud of it!

ViceUnVersa said...

I Know yes I Know!

'Lets fuck'

In'it though?

ViceUnVersa said...

Shall we fuck?

ViceUnVersa said...

'Are you disrespecting me? In'it though?' ?

Rhythmic Diaspora said...

DD - call me old fashioned but it seems to lack a certain subtlety. JMHO

ViceUnVersa said...

Promise this will be the last comment. David and I will hopefully soon be able to illuminate and educate you on the effectiveness and literary merit of the two words ' Lets Fuck?'

Sach said...


Anonymous said...

Reminds me of the famous Sri lankan chat up line "after a pump and all, eh?"

Little Miss Tam Jay said...

Hmm, what a tease and I love the way you write. Glad I stumbled upon you...