Talking dog for sale

A chap is driving around London when he sees a sign outside a house:

"Talking dog for sale"

He rings the bell and the owner tells him that the dog is in the back garden so he goes into the garden and sees a labrador sitting there sunning himself.

"So you're a talking dog then are you?"

"Yes" the dog replies.

"So how did this all happen then?" says the bloke.

"Well I discovered it when I was pretty young, I wanted to use my powers to help people so I told the Police. Before I knew it they had me flying from country to country sitting in on meetings with Royalty and world leaders. No one figured that a dog would be eavesdropping and for eight years I was one of our most valuable spies."

"Then what happened?" said the man.

"Well I wasn't getting any younger and all the travel was making me very tired so I retired from the Police and got a job over at the airport. I'd wander around listening to people planning dodgy deals. I helped catch loads of criminals and was awarded a bag load of medals. I did that for a few years and then retired. I got married, settled down and had lots of puppies."

The man is totally amazed by this and goes into the house to ask the man how much he wants for the dog.

"Five Pounds" he says.

"A Fiver?" he says. "The dog is incredible, why on Earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a lying bastard. He never did any of that shit!!"

Cracked me up.