Sunday, January 7, 2007

A warning

What with the warnings about SMS scams here and the dreaded Chikengunya in Sri lanka I feel that's it's only decent to tell you of something that happened to a good friend of mine the other night. It might just save you from extreme pain or even death.

On the night of Wednesday 20th December, a mere five days before Christmas, my good friend B was sitting at home quietly watching TV. It was 11.30 PM and the rest of his household had gone to bed. I strongly suspect, knowing B as I do, he was watching porn, but that's not relevant.
He was watching TV and enjoying himself, lost in a world of Christmassy spirit and goodwill to all men, when he heard the doorbell ring, as they do when pressed. He got up from his pleasant semi conscious slumber and went to answer the door.

When he opened it he was confronted by something that looked just like a six foot tall stag beetle. It was in fact, a six foot tall stag beetle. The creature took one look at him and asked if his name was B. B answered in the affirmative and was faced with a barrage of verbal abuse. The Beetle called him every name under the sun and then some more names, presumably from other galaxies far, far away.

B didn't get any chance to answer back for, just as he was about to, the Beetle took a swing at him and knocked him out in the one punch. B is a big bloke and that was no easy feat. He awoke a few minutes later, he was lying on his doorstep, the front door was open and the Beetle had run off down the street.

Next morning B reported the incident to the Police and they told him that it wasn't the first incident of the sort in recent days.

So, if you find a six foot Beetle at your door late at night please be very, very careful.

There's a really nasty bug going around.


Darwin said...

Wow. That's. Just. Crazy.

Note to self: Answer front door with pepperspray in the future.

Rhythmic Diaspora said...

Good idea Darwin, maybe spray first and ask quetions later, just in case.

Anonymous said...

Belated wishes!

Rhythmic Diaspora said...

Ta, now ssshhhh!

Indyana said...

Are you sure it wasn't you? now,now own up!

SpectralCentroid said...

Hmm.. It wasn't a six foot 'beatle' that verbally abused B at the door was it?

Rhythmic Diaspora said...

spectral - I'll check, perhaps it was Paul or Ringo.