Thursday, January 4, 2007

Search me again

These are my absolute favourite referrals to London, Lanka and drums. Yes folks, someone has, or maybe some people have, actually typed these phrases into a search engine (usually Google) and arrived here.

Saddam Hussein's hanging on pay per view - Ok, there is at least one person out there who thinks that it actually might happen (the pay per view bit, not the hanging). Perhaps a programme called "The Execution Factor" would be a good idea. People on death row could compete to have their own execution televised. Edit - I wrote this before the execution. Since it took place you can imagine that the number of searches for this has ever so slightly gone through the roof and broken all kinds of records.

David Beckham wearing sarong - Have a look yourself, please. Just google the phrase and you'll see that I'm 11th on the list. It's an honour, but I really want to get to the first page for such a prestigious phrase. With your help I think I can do it.

How to wear sarong Sri Lanka - This is better. Google this and you should see that my post comes about 5th on the results. The thing that made me laugh out aloud about this was that fact that, whoever did this search, looked at the post and then clicked on my link to this, one of my all time favourite websites. Assuming that the searcher was looking for ways to wear a sarong I now have visions of some poor chap strolling around somewhere with a sarong tied to his head, thinking that's how it's done. I am at least partially responsible and I like that.

Number 4 fart - Wow!! For some obscure reason I am the proud number one result for this google search. I would like to thank my parents for their love and support, they always believed in me.
Who on earth, apart from you after reading this, would actually search for the phrase? And why?

Vagine woman photo - I really wouldn't encourage a search for this phrase. Yes, I have low standards at the best of times but, unless you're seeking some porn, don't google it. Needless to say someone did, and landed at my post about Borat not being funny anymore.

Sexy English slags - I'm number one again. Proud and a little disturbed about it. There's plenty of porn and all sorts of dodgy things but London, Lanka and drums is the number one match on google for this. Why, I don't know. Honoured? I probably am. Puzzled? Definitely.

Men opening trousers to pee in urinal - I've messed up a bit here. If you google the phrase you'll see that the first two results lead you to LLD, but it's only to the previous post where I tantalised you with the phrase. But it's a fact, please believe me on this. Someone, I know not who they are, actually typed in that phrase to google and ended up here. I have lost far too much time trying to figure out why anyone would do a search for the words. Is it a person seeking instructions? Maybe not used to wearing trousers and looking for advice on how to go to a public toilet. Or was it someone partial to "watersports" looking for some pictures of "foreplay"?

Is it a naive woman perhaps just curious as to how us men function? Or it might have been clothes designer seeking to improve upon the classic design of traditional men's trousers. Perhaps it was someone from Apple seeking to revolutionise clothing with the launch of the "iTrouser". Some kind of click wheel instead of the fly might work. Or a toilet, or should I say urinal designer? Looking to revolutionise the urinal with his latest piece of work.

Who know? Probably Mr "Men opening trousers to pee in urinal", but he's hardly likely to get in touch is he? If you are him, please get in touch. I'm dying to meet you.

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