Everyone's Having Orgies

Ravana and Darwin have both put up posts about orgies in recent days. I'm feeling hard done by and sorry for myself.

There are several reasons for this;

The first one is the fact that I haven't got a clue how to do that thing where you type some text in and then make it look as if you've crossed it out. Maybe my blogger thing can't do it, I can do italics, bold even both together, but the crossing out thing is out of my depth. The result is that it closes an avenue of slightly slapstick humour, one that I'd love to use.

I can't say things like "come across" then put a line through it, I can't do the whole Freudian slip in my writing thing. All the other boys can do it, why can't I?

Next is this university malarkey. I never went to university, it was entirely my choice and it's one that I'm very happy with. I will advise my daughters strongly that they should go to Uni, but it wasn't right for me. The formal education side of not going doesn't bother me. My line of work is one that should hopefully mean I'll never have to prove my qualifications on paper and my experience has given me a lot of business knowledge, with so much more to learn too.

But, occasionally I look at university bods and their social life specifically and wish I hadn't missed out on that. Darwin's post, Lady Luck's comment on it and Ravana's post clearly lead me to believe that the average university is a hotbed of orgies. They're not the usual orgies that chaps, not me of course, might see in 70s porn films, the ones with dodgy music, flowery clothes and big moustaches that go on in living rooms. Living rooms that are big enough for about 40 naked people.

No, these modern university ones occur in kitchens and forests and halls of residence. Apparently there's often a Sri Lankan chap standing on the sidelines watching interestedly but intent on not joining in. I must ask academic bro about this, it may well explain his career choice.

The whole orgy thing mystifies me. Like Ravana I've never really had any desires to be involved in one, but unlike Ravana, Darwin (or Darwin's friend) and Lady Luck I've never been within spitting distance of one. You see my first point in practice there. How I wish I could put a line through "spitting distance" and replace the words with something like "range".

But, as Oscar Goldman said "it's a bore to be invited blah blah blah". I'd love to be invited to an orgy or two. I wouldn't go, but would just like to be asked.

Unless it was an orgy with a drum kit in the room. Then I could sit at the kit and quietly bash away in the corner.

Mmmm....