Sunday, May 7, 2006

I'm not sexist but........

There are 2 generalisations of the sexes that I believe in:

1. All men believe that they are the best driver ever. Each of us thinks that we are the next Michael Schumacher just waiting to be discovered. In fact this is not just a belief, we actually know this. For a man, driving is not a means of getting from A to B, it is a matter of pride snd a test of masculinity. Any man who admits to any deficiency in any element of driving, whether it is parking, or reversing or driving down a moutain while blindfolded, is not a real man. All real men know this. I am no exception to this.

There are many women who enjoy driving but usually they see driving as a means of transport and cars as a place in which to do their make up. Fair play to them I say. Maybe men would see things differently if we wore make up.

2. Ansaphone / Voicemail behaviour. This is simple. Men always leave a brief, factual and simple message on ansaphones or voicemail, along the lines of
"Hello mate it's Steve, give me a call when you're around. Cheers."

Women, on the other hand, are all capable of having an entire conversation with the mechanical device. Something like

"Hi Julie it's only me, I just wanted to say that I was going out for a drink tonight and was wondering if you'd like to come along. Give me a call, oh you'll never guess who I bumped into the other night. Remember that girl who used to go out with Brian, the one who always wore green shoes. She was looking really rough and I had a really long talk with her and she might be coming along tonight. I was also going to ask you if I could borrow your yellow handbag, the one you bought at Selfridges, or was it Harrods? I need it to go with my shoes that I bought yesterday for an interview i've got next week. I'm really excited about it it's for..............................."

This goes on, finishing with "anyway give me a call when you get back and I'll tell you all about it"

Then, the friend calls back and they have the whole conversation again.

That's it really. Those 2 points are my total views on the differences between the sexes.

Of course there is the additional theory about remote controls and flicking between tracks or channels but i'll leave that for another time....


SpectralCentroid said...

I've always put down my tendency to curse like a maniac everytime someone dares to overtake me (regardless of the fact that I drive a humble Jap made family sorta car) on two possible reasons. A mental deficiency or conditioned response due to years of bad association. Good to know I can blame it on my chromosome composition.

shimmi said...

i think these generalisations are pretty fair.

Rhythmic Diaspora said...

Thanks for reading, Shimmi - I love your photographs.