BMW update - Someone please tell me it's a wind up

11.45 AM last Friday - No news from the dealer so I called them. The way in which the call was taken startled me:

"Hello, can I speak to Fish Face please?"

"Who's calling?"

"It's Rhythmic Diaspora"

"Sorry". I am used to this, as I am sure many people with Sri Lankan names will be. You may be surprised to know that Rhythmic Diaspora is not actually my real name. I came up with it because I play the drums, hence the "Rhythmic" and because "Diaspora" is a word I only learnt recently and I now try to use as much as possible, to make me sound intelligent. So I repeat my name. The lady then hits me with an unexpected blow:

"And what's it regarding?"

This puzzled and rather amazed me, but I realise many will find my reaction a strange one. It was merely because I was calling the service reception chap at a large BMW dealer and I didn't think that there could be many reasons why people would call him. Clearly I wasn't his Mother calling to tell him he had forgotten his sandwiches that day, but maybe he is the sort of bloke who is swamped by calls from Americans who are trying to interest him in shady share deals.

I realised immediately that my response had to be quick, sharp and deviously worded in order to get past this gatekeeper. It had to be carefully considered and delivered in a tone full of confidence, one which told her that I demanded to be put through and would take no prisoners in my quest . I was up to the challenge. I was primed like Muhammed Ali ready to defend his title or Huggy Bear in one of the best Starsky and Hutches.

"My car". I squeeked, in a voice about 7 octaves above middle C.

She withered into a heap on the floor. Clearly my mind was too finely tuned for her. Her confidence was thrashed and she may well never work again. She put me through.

"Ah Mr Diaspora", said Fishy.

"We have got the new key and deduced that the key isn't the problem so we think it may be the antenna".

So it has taken them almost 3 weeks to figure this out. This would be acceptable to some if not for the fact that their colleague told me 3 weeks ago that it was either the key or the antenna. He told me to try the spare key, which I did, and if that didn't work then the problem was with the receiver / antenna. I tried it and it didn't work and I have been saying this for 2 weeks to Fish Face, but he has preferred to take 2 weeks to figure it out himself.

He then told me that, if it is the antenna, they would have to order one from Germany. This will take 4 - 6 weeks to arrive. I am involved in the transport industry and I know that it is easy and straightforward to arrange for a next day delivery from most parts of Germany to the UK, so this rather puzzled me too. His explanation was feeble, he muttered something about parts not always being in stock in Germany.

So I am now waitng to hear the result of further tests. Then I'll have a 6 week wait.

Update - I picked the car up. It is "probably" the antenna as

"we can only do what BMW tell us to do"

which means that they are not sure but they now have to try to eliminate or prove the antenna theory.
I have to wait 4 - 6 weeks for the part to come in and I will get on to BMW to complain about this, but I don't have much hope. I have already spoken to BMW about the whole saga and, surprisingly, they seem unconcerned about it.

Until then I'll have to manage with remote central locking that only works when I am really close to the car.

I guess there are worse things in life, so I shan't blow it out of proportion.

I am rather bored with this whole saga now so God knows how you must be feeling about it. I will try not to go on about it but I promise to let you know what happens if and when it gets sorted out.

It always amazes me that good customer service is actually quite an easy thing to give. In fact, I would go as far as to say that it is just as easy as giving bad customer service.

Enough - Life goes on.

I just hate poor customer care.