Thursday, April 10, 2008

23 Boxes And A Long One!

What's happening in the Rhythmic life?

With thanks to David Blacker I'm living up to the "pimped up diary" thing. It's a perfect description of LLD and has given me a strange desire to chuck out a few words now and again to tell anyone who's interested what's been happening in these parts, which of course I always did, but now it's formal.

Two things happened to me yesterday that made me smile, chuckle and laugh, a bit like a supermarket own brand of Rice Krispies. The first of the two actually happened at the supermarket too.

Lunchtime was jam packed with my usual; a stroll over to Tesco and a sandwich of some sort. Wednesdays is my night to have the girls so the lunchtime stroll also involves buying the necessary ingredients for the evening meal.

The girls at work had suggested spaghetti bolognese for dinner so I found myself standing at a checkout with the necessaries and a sweets shop's worth of chocolate biscuitish things for the girls (my home ones) to munch on in the evening. My basket had eleven items so I was of course standing in one of the longer queues, not one of the ten or less items ones that I could have so easily have smuggled myself into were I that way inclined.

Then I saw it, or him, or them. It was the contents of the trolley of the chap in front of me that caught my attention. You know Cadbury's Flakes, not the ones we eat as chocolate bars but the half sized ones that ice cream men use in 99s? Well I learned that they are available in boxes of around twenty or thirty. I learned this from the fact that the chap in front of me had twenty three of these boxes in his trolley. I knew this was the case as I surreptitiously counted them. He also had one long French bread loaf in the trolley, which tickled me, though not in that smutty way you're thinking. That was it, there was nothing else in the chap's trolley.

I studied the chap. He was a Sikh, perhaps an ice cream man, but the French Stick was the sticking point. Twenty three boxes of Cadbury's Flake and a French stick was the type of trolley content that a good episode of Miss Marple could be made out of. I was mystified. Then the lightbulb moment came. Which reminds me, I wonder if the bloke who invented lightbulbs had a light bulb moment.

He must have been one of those weird food types, the sort who can only eat jam or who live on the contents of used tea bags. Only his particular fetish was French bread sandwiches made from Cadbury's Flakes. Presumably the sandwiches had to be cut down to size, which would explain why he wasn't using full sized Flakes. 'tis indeed a funny old world and I studied his complexion. There was no vast array of acne nor any visible evidence of his strange taste in food. I guess he was just lucky. I carried on with my day, content with the knowledge that I had figured out this mystery.

Then I picked up the girls in the evening and K came out with one of those phrases that made me proud and laugh.

We were walking along my road, heading back after popping to the local shop. K and A were in seriously high spirits. I think it's partly because they are still getting used to the whole new way of life and they're often a bit over excited when I collect them or drop them back. In time I'm sure they'll calm down.

As we were walking the excitement reached a crescendo of sorts and I asked both of them to calm down. A had been skipping like a strangely jerky Kangaroo and K had been squeezing a cuddly toy thing that was making a squeeking noise, as I'm sure it was designed to do. I asked them to calm down with some choice fatherly words:

"Will you two just calm down a bit now please?"

"Ok Dad" said K. "We will"

"In fact look at us now" she continued.

"We're now as calm as two monkeys in a baby's bath"

"You what? What did you say?" I asked.

"I said we're as calm as two monkeys in a baby's bath."

"That's whatI thought you said, where on Earth did you get that from?" said I.

"You know me Dad, I'm surprisingly clever, these things just come to me sometimes." the too smart for her own good eleven year old continued.

Well I do know her, she is too smart for her own good sometimes, but she makes me smile.

And those were two of the things that happened yesterday.

9 comments:

Ian Selvarajah said...

Ha ha ha cute!!

Sounds like she's picking up using similes from her dad!

That makes me wonder: Do you use similes in regular conversation as much as you do on this blog?

Dili said...

Well I'll be a monkey in a baby's bath..

Those 2 are getting adorably smarter with each passing day :)

Chocolate+Bread=...?? nah got nothing..

Jane Doe said...

I am really glad you've decided to post on a daily basis RD.Whenever I'm in the middle of too much work (which is all the time) and I need to dive back into a horrifically horrifying paper after a break, I alway take a minute to read your blog. I almost always end up chuckling to myself and forgetting the horrid task that awaits me (for a few minutes at least) so thank you... :)

Rhythmic Diaspora said...

Ian - Thanks, no I definitely don't use them as much in conversation as I do here. You've reminded of a post I've wanted to start for while, about the differences between presenting oneself in writing and in person.

Dili - Yes, smarter and scarier!

Jane Doe - Thanks so much for the nice words.

L said...

Chocolate and bread - a huge party or even a wedding. Why just one breadstick? They bought all the bread sticks in another supermarket/s and are still one short of a breadstick. Similar theory could apply to chocolate.

Rhythmic Diaspora said...

I - but, and I think I hadn't mentioned this, there was nothing else in his trolley at all. A Flake party could have been going on though, with the lucky early arrivals getting a bit of bread

Anonymous said...

May be it was some thing the naughty nature or may be he is an alphabatical shopper. Letter's B & C today. next day you will find him with Diet coke & eggs

L said...

Yes I did gather that from your post and it still makes sense. For a large do...you need to deploy forces, and delegate. One man can't do all the grocery shopping. This chap's job is probably to buy flakes and bread. There could be heaps more people with or without turbans, running around, cleaning the shelves of bread, flakes, tea lights and whatever else is needed. Just imagine in the not too distant future if one of your daughters requests a large do for her 18th birthday or engagement or wedding! :-)

Rhythmic Diaspora said...

anon - you may be right, the Q and R day will be interesting.

I - I like the way you're approaching this serious question. I know about the struggle us men continually have with grocery shopping so your theory could well be correct. Though I don't thi9nk they sell tea lights there, so a little satellite force would have to be sent off to another shop.