Because tonight, were you to creep into my back garden and peer through the windows of my house, you'd witness a first, one that's making me tremble like a chocolate biscuit pudding on the back seat of a Sri Lankan bus.
A, the 14 year old, has got her birthday party. It means that she's off into the wilds of Kingston with a gang of her friends. Then, some of those friends will get taken back to her and her Mother's place and they'll stay the night and do whatever it is you girls do on sleepovers. It means that I miss out on my fortnightly overnight visit from A but that's ok, it's her birthday party and I'm relaxed and cool about it.
What it does mean is that K, the 11 year old who needs little introduction these days, is coming round to mine for the overnight stop. But it's not just her. It only life were that simple. No, there's a friend of some kind coming too.
You can imagine my trepidation. Two of them. In my house. The days of a big house in which they could have been left to wander are long gone. I can't leave them in a room with a TV and a DVD player, some food and drink and check in on them every five hours or so like any good parent would normally do. No, my small house won't permit that. I'll have to entertain them and mix with them.
I'll have to try to maintain my "cool Dad" status. Letting the friend have a go on my drumkit may help me in that avenue. There's always the option of playing something on the drums myself to keep my street cred up too. It doesn't have to be anything complicated, just playing something by a band they like should do the trick.
K has already expressed some concern that I'll embarrass her. She said this on Wednesday when I was doing the underpants dance to her and A. You know, that one that involves wearing just pants (pink striped ones available from Odel) and flip flops. Why she thinks my behaviour might be a cause of embarrassment is beyond me.
I figure that a cupboard load of chocolate and chocolate related biscuit things, lots of Diet Coke and pizzas will be useful. Snack things for the night and lots of whisky for me may come in handy. Suppose I better wash the towels and maybe a bit of silent farting around the house practice would be useful.
So wish me luck. I'll let you know how it goes next week. For now I'm concentrating on survival.