Cerno's Cernometer, Cars and Carbs

The master's post here got me thinking. One of the things I thought about was whether his thing in his car that tells him what speed he's driving at should actually be called a "Cernometer". I chuckled inwardly and quietly to myself at that one, I must tell you.

The other thing was about Sri Lankans and carbohydrates, rice in particular. We love 'em don't we. Give any of us a plate of something centred around rice or noodly things and our eyes light up and our tongues hang out like one of those boys at Majestic City when they see a female under twenty five.

Here in England some people, when confronted with anything like an Indian restaurant menu or a situation in which they need to eat Asian food, will actually opt for more curry than rice, sometimes these Suddas will even NOT have rice. Honestly I've seen this happen and it never ceases to astound me. We eat rice and curry, they eat curry and rice, maybe just curry.

I've been to restaurants with friends and they've tried to order one portion of rice to share. With me??!! At this point I have to put my foot down. A rice portion in an Indian restaurant here usually contains about a third of the amount of rice in the average Lankan bath packet. You can see my quandary and occasionally I even have to order an additional portion just for myself.

We love rice and we're proud of it.

But, as with many things, a Sri Lankan's love of rice, his eagerness for string hoppers, hoppers and his cravings for Kottu (except NB who hates kottu of course) come at a price.

Rice, as well as other carb based foods, absorb moisture and water once eaten. That's why we eat rice until we're full and then, an hour or so later, feel more uncomfortable and even more full, though we thought we were full to the brim earlier. That rice absorbs all the moisture in our stomachs, it's like the silica gel of the food world, and expands in our stomach.

Then, after a lifetime of this continual behaviour, we end up looking like we're fourteen months pregnant and chaps like Cerno write posts about it. Sadly exercise alone doesn't change things. I'm told it's a mixture of diet and exercise that gets rid of the pregnant look. I'm also told that in some countries it's all the rage.

I went to see Bruno the other night, the film that they're all raving about. It was hilarious in a cover your face and hide in shame sort of way. One of the scenes involved a severely depressed Bruno committing "carbicide". He told us that, prior to that moment, he hadn't touched a carb for fifteen years.

At that point I thought to myself that he would have been no good as a Sri Lankan man then.

Pah!

Happy Monday all.