On Women

I'm aware that many in the Lankanosphere hold me in high regard because of my incredible understanding of the way the mind of a woman works. It's a knack, a talent. Dominic Sansoni has photography, I have an innate understanding of women. Some people are born with a gift and we just have to accept and try our best to make use of it.

I like to pass on nuggets of wisdom to you, my readers, as often as possible and, with C lurking around in RD Towers, I've noticed some things about women that the males might find useful:

1. Farting - the fairer sex, god alone knows why they're called this, don't like it. Seriously. We men know that there's nothing more satisfying than wallowing in the smell of one of those viciously fruity farts. Women don't like the smell. Weird but true.

2. Remote controls - they can sit there with the TV on and the remote next to them for periods of as long as perhaps two or three minutes without even thinking about flicking to another channel.

3. Talking - they like to do this. We men, particularly of the Sri Lankan variety, are happy to exist quietly in each other's company. We can eat, drink and be merry without feeling a pressing need to tell each other about our innermost thoughts on saving the world. They're different.

4. Thinking - on the other hand, if a woman is quiet, it's because of one (possibly a combination) of the following reasons:

a - she's asleep (though it's dangerous to assume this until it can be fully proven)

b - she's thinking about what to say to you or really serious stuff (often both)

c - she's angry with you

5. Thinking (for men) - when we're quiet it's because we're not thinking or because we're thinking about cars, girls, music or sport.

6. Thinking - They think to levels we're totally unaware of. They sometimes think about life, about what other people think, what motivates them, what makes them tick and why things happen. I'm being very serious here, they really do often think about WHY things happen.

7. Manflu - they think it's funny, they don't think it's serious. They have no idea, not the faintest of what we have to put up with when stricken with the serious illness. They might seem to give you sympathy but you'll catch them on the phone to their friend saying something like

"Oh yeah RD's got manflu" (chuckle, chuckle, titter titter, between both parties on the phone)

8. Super noodles - They just don't appreciate the beauty and culinary delight that of instant super noodles.