Tuesday, September 29, 2009

I Had An Arranged Marriage But Am Very Happy

Laughter is a wonderful thing isn't it?

There are occasions, many of them in an average RD day, when I laugh heartily and smile broadly as I do it, as though I'm using all the muscles in my face. It's usually at one of my own jokes.

But there are also those chuckling moments. It's not that they're not as funny as the bigger ones, just that they're a different kind of laughter moment. They involve a gentle chuckle, a sort of laughing inside of myself, often at a joke or something funny that I think other people around me won't appreciate.

And as I looked through the stats for my blog the other day and saw that someone had arrived here by googling the above phrase, I did one of those gentle chuckling things.

"I had an arranged marriage but am very happy"

Is it funny for you too?

For me it's the use of the word "but" that makes this chuckleable, combined of course with the fact that someone's actually had to search the internet for the phrase. It's as if they've been taken by surprise that their arranged marriage is a happy one.

Or is it that the person had an arranged marriage that didn't work out and now they're happy?

Arranged marriages are a phenomenon that I've changed my opinion on over they years. Despite the fact that most of my family on one side have had them, I used to be dead against them. As I've got older and garnered more knowledge and experience I now believe they're perfectly legitimate, though I'm fundamentally opposed to the "forced" ones.

I know, from personal experience, that any marriage can last and any marriage can end in divorce. I think whether it's arranged or not probably has little bearing. The only difference may well be that arranged marriages might be more likely to last because of the western compared to the eastern approach to divorce.

On the other hand there may also be an argument that people might be less happy within an arranged marriage yet more likely to grin and bear it.

Which is worse, which is better?

I know not, I don't think there is, or needs to be a definitive answer.

I do know that the search that got to my blog made me chuckle though.


Anonymous said...

Seriously RD!The searches that get to ur blog!!! The 'but' part was a bit annoying,but did make me smile after a moment!Both love and arranged marriages take hard work and grit to maintain!And fate plays it's part too,I guess! how have u been?


Sachintha said...

Well, as I see it, unless it's not forced upon the person, arranged marriages should be fine if they have no problems with the idea. But it's always a good idea perhaps to let them get to know each other a bit.

Still, me, personally never really want to get married that way and luckily was able to repel all my mom's hits. Ha!

About searches, one that kept me chuckling recently was is there any quiz on fb which can tell who are you going to marry from your friend list? and also there was something like facebook status messages to fuck with your boyfriend!!!

And you'd be amazed to know how many people google "Shakira's body"

surani said...

Or maybe someone is getting married (arranged) and wants to know if they'd be happy...and yes it did make me chuckle like most of your posts do

Anonymous said...

what does it matter if its arranged or love? marriage is HELL mate !

Rhythmic Diaspora said...

Anon (F) - I'm v good thanks! The "but" was the strange word that made me smile too, amazing eh?

SAch - Agreed, and I'm continually amazed by the search terms used, as well as why they get to my blog.

Surani - thank you.

Anon - I suspect it depends on you and your partner.

Anonymous said...


I'm glad you are happy in your arranged marriage!

Please take this survey online:

Its for a study and anonymous.

Tell your friends about this as well!


Anonymous said...


I'm very happy for you!

Please take this survey online:

Its for a study and anonymous!

And if you know anybody else who has gotten an arranged marriage, please pass this on to them!

Thanks a bunch!