Betraying my Heritage

I feel bad. I feel dirty and ashamed of my actions. There is nothing I can do that will erase this incident from my memory, there are no words I can say to express my regret, my sense of woe.

I'll probably be delisted from Kottu for this, I just know that Drac will be removing my blog from the hallowed walls of Achcharu and whoever runs that zSri will pop in to the office in a few months' time and remove me from there too, not that they do much around there.

Life is full of learning experiences, full of positives and negatives but this thing will scar me for a long time. I can't see that there are any positives to it, I can't even see what made me do it. It was like one of those accidents, that happen in slow motion and you just can't do anything about, all caused by a foolish mistake that can't be undone.

When I think of my family's history, my Grandparents and all my Sri Lankan friends I feel so ashamed. The Sri Lankan men in particular will never forgive me for this, maybe the women will find it easier to forgive but they won't forget, not for a long time. It's a slippery slope that I've stepped onto. I could try some counselling or an anonymous society.

"My name is Rhythmic and I........."

No it's too painful to say so soon after the event. The memories are too unpleasant, the taste still lingers. It's a taste of some kind of dressing, lots of green things and Tuna, some potatoes and a bit of egg. There were hardly any carbohydrates involved at all, yes, hardly any carbs, you read that correctly. There was no rice, no noodles, no roti or no parippu.

Yes - My name is Rhythmic and yesterday I ate a SALAD for lunch.

It was horrible. Never again.