Friday, June 8, 2007

Never too old to Fart

I may be slightly over my teen years, I may have kids that are actually in their teens, I may be a highly regarded captain of industry and a world renowned drummer. I may be all of these things, in my own mind at least, but I'm childish enough to enjoy a good farting situation when I see one.

I was strolling round our office with Ken, one of my partners. We were checking off things that had been done in the ofice refurbishment, making sure that everything on the list had been completed to our satisfaction. Were the doors painted, were the walls moved slightly to the left, that sort of thing.

There we were, just the two of us in the new canteen / kitchen area that we've had done at considerable expense for all to enjoy. We were having a laugh and, as blokes are prone to do, I farted, a good quality loud one, one of those boastful ones that all men like to do and all women pretend to be disgusted about but then practice at home when no one's around.

Ken made the usual men's fake being disgusted sounds and we continued with our checklist. Minutes later we were both suprised by the smell, this had been an unexpectedly smelly one. He did the "uuurghh that's fucking disgusting" thing and I wallowed in both the smell and my achievement.

Just at that point one of the guys doing the building work strolled into the kitchen, Steve the electrician. He's a nice chap is Steve and, over the past few weeks, we've got to know him and his colleagues quite well. He walked in and smelt the odour.

Ken looked at me, I looked at Ken, Steve looked at both of us. There was only one thing I could do, one honourable path to take. So I stepped up, never one to shirk my responsibilities, always one to own up to my shortcomings. I swallowed my pride and behaved like a man:

"Urgh Ken you dirty bastard, did you drop one?" I asked.

"No it was you, you wanker." came the reply.

It was too late. Steve just knew it was Ken, from the embarassed look on his face and the way he denied it immediately. I just went with it. I could only look on with pleasure and satisfaction as Steve blamed Ken for the smell, his fervent denials merely made him appear even more guilty.

We may not have breasts but sometimes it's good to be a man, it's good to fart and it's even better to blame your mate.


n said...

well yeah since girl (in my world at least) dont fart...and don't tell me otherwise...finger in ear...lalallala

confab said...

oh i've done that a million times...its even better when u send out a silent one, no one knows who it is, then u just look at someone and shake ur head...