Tuesday, October 9, 2007

It's Tag Nice Week on Ach

Java, the wise old owl, published this post in which he talks about the way many leave negative and personal comments on people's blogs, how they can be hurtful and vituperative. Now I have to tell you, for the sake of transparency, that I hadn't the slightest clue what "vituperative" means and had to look it up in my dictionary, where it says that to vituperate is to "berate abusively".

I read some time ago a piece by Edward de Bono in which he said that "creative and critical" are 2 of the types of thinking. It's pretty obvious what exactly they are and they're not mutually exclusive in a person's mind by any means.

I get pissed off by people who are continually critical, I'm probably not alone in this and guess that many of us go through life frequently thinking that so and so should try and do it better if it's that easy. I find it easy to take criticism if it's from a person who has established their credibility with me and I find it extremely hard to accept someone as credible unless they have a level of success or expertise in the area they are criticising.

The sittingnut comment thing on Indi's blog is a stunning example of poor quality thinking. If you disagree with a person's opinion that is your right. If that person has a blog then the comment facility usually gives you the right to voice your opinion on that person's blog. But to go on attacking the person's family, their personal stuff and to make childish comments is just, well, childish.

We bloggers demonstrate a level of creativity by the very act of blogging. Some of us are more sensitive than others, some are thick skinned and some are bang in the middle. I got frustrated with all the "we get it" tags on Achcharu simply because I thought it was cowardly to hide behind anonymity. If I knew that it was Java, Darwin, Ian or any one of my favourite bloggers who was doing the tagging then I think I'd feel differently about it. I respect the things they write.

One of the books I'm reading at the moment is about people who invalidate others. It's intriguing and stimulating and has taught me that there's a type of person who seeks to feel secure and superior by running down others. It's a mentality that deals in scarcity, thinking that if I make you feel bad then I'm better than you.

By just mentioning Mr Sittingnut I'm guilty of being critical of him, I'm not really being constructive nor am I really being creative. Or am I?

The Sri Lankan blogosphere, or the whole blogosphere, is full of opinionated people. We can set out our opinions without censorship and we can censor the opinions of others without recourse. Blogging is a phenomenon that continues to amaze and intrigue me. I can write anything I fancy and I get a certain amount of readers.

But, the bloggers who are driven by a desire to get vast readerships are the ones who I feel for. There's something warmly satisfying about sitting back, writing about drumming, kids and life in general and not caring whether I get a million or as little as ten thousand hits a day.

Either way I won't be off making vituperative comments on anyone's blog, particularly now that I know what it means!

These negative critics, the bad taggers and the downright childish twats are just energy drainers aren't they?

I've noticed that I have had a few people in my life, some of whom I genuinely consider as friends, who really do drain my energy. It's fascinating to notice this and to be aware of it as I'm interracting with these people. It's not that the people mean it, just that they go on and on about bad stuff.

What's more is the revelation that, by knowing it and observing my mind going through the draining thing, I can actually have much more control over it. It's been a big discovery for me, one that will have big and good consequences.

And now I see that Drac has declared it to be Tag Nice week on Achcharu.

Good for him.


Java Jones said...

Hey RD, I be tinking dat Bono dude be a singer dat's into savin rainforests an sheet. Yo mean dis cat be doin filosofikal sturrf on da side? Sheeet!

An what yo mean wit dat 'wise ol owl' crap? Jus watch it hear, or I be gettin vi-tu-per-a-tive on yo ass.

Beatrice Hannah said...

Angry people are very hard work, and I am much too lazy to be doing with it. Luckily only nice people ever comment on my blog, but I suppose blithering on about life in the West of England is not going to inspire much in people, least of all wrath.

Anger and anxiety happen in the same part of the brain, so when people do get all vituperative on me, I remember this and it suddenly seems like their problem not mine.

N said...

Damn you get 10,000 hits?! wow...anywhoo..that aside...as I mentioned on JJ's post it seems like people really have no idea about how to present an argument, no idea about framing, evidence or anything else like that that is conducive to a good discussion about a topic...they have to resort to childish insults...whatcha gonna do in the end eh?

oh yeah I feel you on the negative people....I've just decided to stop hanging out with them...its strange because I made a decision a few months ago to 'be happy'...despite all the crap just focus on the good things that are happening and enjoy the ride...and it's worked...but the people who bitch and bitch just bring me down...and I have to cut them out...to maintain my own happy state.

the1truecoolguy said...

I was also about to remark on the 10,000 hits!! Wow!!

I missed the whole Sittingnut/Indi thing. It's a shame too, because I seem to recall Sittingnut [from a while back] being one of the few who was very good at raising rational/logical arguments and who didn't resort to personal attacks.

I've also realized there are certain people who just exude negative energy (bad news was, several of these were exs...). I've learned my lesson and although I tell people that I have plenty of positive energy to spare, I can't regularly hang out with people who drain me.

What book are you reading about invalidating others?

Darwin said...

Hmm somehow methinks you've missed the point a wee bit on Ach!

Negative energy exuders don't particularly bother me as I tend to be a bit of a pessimist myself (but that's my personal outlook, I don't get off on being constantly critical of others). On the plus side, morons always make me smile as they're good entertainment fodder:). Tag wars obviously show how much time, devotion and effort the loyal Ach users have to spare:)

Rhythmic Diaspora said...

Java- Yes, it's the same chap, multi talented he indeed is!

Darwin - Yes, a bit slow on the uptake as far as the Ach tagging thing goes! But my points, whatever they are, about the negative criticism remain the same.

Theena said...

What exactly is this Sittingnut - Indi incident that everyone keeps going on about?

Rhythmic Diaspora said...

Theena - Have a look at the comments on Indi's blog, it's a bit of, it's the post that's listed in the top 10 on kottu

Java Jones said...

Hey RD, since the link you provided seems to have a problem (shows up as 'post deleted' or something), heres the link that works.