Lips, Willies, Tummies And Boobs

I was driving into work and heard a piece on the radio talking about a new weight loss pull that's coming out today called Alli. I listened with interest and turned things over in my mind.

Later I talked to someone about it and she told me that she's fundamentally against the idea of taking a pill to reduce weight. Forgetting about the whole aspect of whether a person should take something before it's been clinically trialled for ten or twenty years, this was about whether it's right for people to use something that messes with the natural balance of the Human body.

We then moved on to talk about plastic surgery, of tummy tucks and liposuction, of boob jobs and penis reductions (a most painful procedure I can tell you!).

I suspect I'm one of a majority with my views on plastic surgery. I hate the look of those over plasticised Hollywood women, the ones who get to fifty or sixty and have a face that's about as tight as one of my snare drums but skin on their hands and neck that's as loose as that on the contents of a KFC bargain bucket.

There's not really anything attractive about a person who looks as if they've had plastic surgery and ends up appearing a few thousand years younger than you know they are.

But where does one draw the line? Where is the exact point at which vanity goes too far and we start to shake our oh so perfectly coiffured heads and smile through our ever so tightly botoxed lips in dismay?

Take me as an example. I had laser eye surgery a few years ago, as you may know if you're a regular around here. Frankly my reasons were primarily vanity related, it's hardly the type of surgery one could say was desperately needed. Did it improve the quality of my life? Yep, big time, but my life, as lives go, was fairly good anyway, I don't think it would have suffered had I not had the eye surgery.

But, there are people who might say that it was wholly unnecessary, that I could have spent that money on other much more worthwhile things.

Some years ago I auditioned for a band. They were a nice enough bunch of people but I didn't get the drum chair. These things happen and I reckon it's better to fail an audition or two than to pass them all. But the really interesting thing was the singer, well her boobs. You see she had just had a boob job, the audition / rehearsal was her first one back with the band since she had her her mammories enlarged, as the somewhat uncandid lead guitarist told me beforehand.

I was fascinated by the hours that followed. The singer didn't know that I knew the score, so I watched her with interest. It was the first time I'd knowingly seen a pair of surgically enhanced breasts for real and they looked as false as a Doctor's note from Sicile Kotelawala. They were nice, just in a false way.

The reason that the girl had had them done was because she had been "blessed" with a naturally tiny pair to start with. Even her new ones must have only been a small B cup in size, so I can imagine that the previous models must have been tiny. I wonder if this kind of plastic surgery is acceptable or not. Perhaps it's a simple answer based around the fact that it's all subjective and if a person is bothered enough about small breasts or whatever then it's their right to have an op.

Going back to this diet pill thing, I asked myself if I would take them, if I were a big fat bloke instead of the slim and lean fellow I am now. I'm lucky with my choice of hobby in relation to weight. Drumming is a good cardiovascular workout so I think I get one of those more often than some. I also do a lot of stomach things, sit ups, eating rice and the like.

If none of the above existed in my life and I didn't have the means or inclination to do exercise I wonder whether I'd take a diet pill to reduce my weight. My internal jury, the one that usually concentrates on far more mundane and shallow matters, is out on this issue.

If I could have a form of cosmetic surgery that no one would actually know about, perhaps a little tummy tuck or a brief hair transplant thing, just to "freshen" up the increasing in size RD bald patch, would I do it, money permitting of course?

Hmmmm.....I ponder.

I reckon I probably would.

You?