Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Lips, Willies, Tummies And Boobs

I was driving into work and heard a piece on the radio talking about a new weight loss pull that's coming out today called Alli. I listened with interest and turned things over in my mind.

Later I talked to someone about it and she told me that she's fundamentally against the idea of taking a pill to reduce weight. Forgetting about the whole aspect of whether a person should take something before it's been clinically trialled for ten or twenty years, this was about whether it's right for people to use something that messes with the natural balance of the Human body.

We then moved on to talk about plastic surgery, of tummy tucks and liposuction, of boob jobs and penis reductions (a most painful procedure I can tell you!).

I suspect I'm one of a majority with my views on plastic surgery. I hate the look of those over plasticised Hollywood women, the ones who get to fifty or sixty and have a face that's about as tight as one of my snare drums but skin on their hands and neck that's as loose as that on the contents of a KFC bargain bucket.

There's not really anything attractive about a person who looks as if they've had plastic surgery and ends up appearing a few thousand years younger than you know they are.

But where does one draw the line? Where is the exact point at which vanity goes too far and we start to shake our oh so perfectly coiffured heads and smile through our ever so tightly botoxed lips in dismay?

Take me as an example. I had laser eye surgery a few years ago, as you may know if you're a regular around here. Frankly my reasons were primarily vanity related, it's hardly the type of surgery one could say was desperately needed. Did it improve the quality of my life? Yep, big time, but my life, as lives go, was fairly good anyway, I don't think it would have suffered had I not had the eye surgery.

But, there are people who might say that it was wholly unnecessary, that I could have spent that money on other much more worthwhile things.

Some years ago I auditioned for a band. They were a nice enough bunch of people but I didn't get the drum chair. These things happen and I reckon it's better to fail an audition or two than to pass them all. But the really interesting thing was the singer, well her boobs. You see she had just had a boob job, the audition / rehearsal was her first one back with the band since she had her her mammories enlarged, as the somewhat uncandid lead guitarist told me beforehand.

I was fascinated by the hours that followed. The singer didn't know that I knew the score, so I watched her with interest. It was the first time I'd knowingly seen a pair of surgically enhanced breasts for real and they looked as false as a Doctor's note from Sicile Kotelawala. They were nice, just in a false way.

The reason that the girl had had them done was because she had been "blessed" with a naturally tiny pair to start with. Even her new ones must have only been a small B cup in size, so I can imagine that the previous models must have been tiny. I wonder if this kind of plastic surgery is acceptable or not. Perhaps it's a simple answer based around the fact that it's all subjective and if a person is bothered enough about small breasts or whatever then it's their right to have an op.

Going back to this diet pill thing, I asked myself if I would take them, if I were a big fat bloke instead of the slim and lean fellow I am now. I'm lucky with my choice of hobby in relation to weight. Drumming is a good cardiovascular workout so I think I get one of those more often than some. I also do a lot of stomach things, sit ups, eating rice and the like.

If none of the above existed in my life and I didn't have the means or inclination to do exercise I wonder whether I'd take a diet pill to reduce my weight. My internal jury, the one that usually concentrates on far more mundane and shallow matters, is out on this issue.

If I could have a form of cosmetic surgery that no one would actually know about, perhaps a little tummy tuck or a brief hair transplant thing, just to "freshen" up the increasing in size RD bald patch, would I do it, money permitting of course?

Hmmmm.....I ponder.

I reckon I probably would.



T said...

sure, if i had the money i'd get some things done that i'm very conscious about. but i'd never do anything weight-related, only because i'm very pig-headed when it comes to my weight, which fluctuates annoyingly, but i take great pride in when i'm fit and healthy through my own hard work. also, i'm inherently against pills; i feel they fuck up the natural balance of my body.

also, men get penis reductions? how and why?

Anonymous said...

Yes, I suppose I would...if I'd overcome challenges such as my fear of intense pain (and all for vanity) and a small bank account, I may go for cosmetic surgery as I feel is necessary for me.

With the exponentially increasing number of celebrities having plastic surgery and with their indentities dehumanised by the media, we almost see them as something other than skin, flesh, blood, feelings and real emotions...forgetting that cosmetic surgery is inherently personal and subjective.

What happened is that somewhere between its wide use and particularly by celebrities we gave ourselves liberties to play judge and jury when it came to cosmetic surgery. I think it's much like any other health procedure/practice. But, I reckon quite a few may disagree with me.

I was told to get LASIK or laser eye surgery done as well...I'm just way too nervours for it. So I'm content in poking my eyes each morning to insert my contact lenses!

:) :)

Cricket Tragic said...

I am on the bulky side, but I definitely would not take a diet pill even if I were given 100kg of them for free because I know that if I became stick thin, I would look like a total idiot.

On the other hand, I'd do anything to get my thighs smaller because i have a waist of size 'x' and thighs of a person with a waist size of 'x+8'! Anything to get my thighs smaller so that I can wear readymade denim jeans rather than getting them custom made! :(

Anonymous said...

LOL! yes, the penis reduction thing baffles me too -- and I'm a female. Do men get it done for the same reasons as say women who get breast reductions done for various other side effects such back pain etc.

Not that I'm saying a large penis gives a man a back pain..actually I don't know ..does it? LOL

hmm time to google (when I'm home -- don't want IT at work to hand me a warning for browsing inappropriate content!).

Charm Bracelet said...

Yup I probably would too, but with some reservation on how far I stretch it. No face lifts for sure. grow old gracefully? :)

Have to agree with T, it really is gratifying to get in shape thru ur own efforts, even though getting there tests ur will power and resilience to the core. Discipline I guess :)

Rhythmic Diaspora said...

T - I understand your view, it's intriguing where we all would draw the line for ourselves.

Anon - Thanks for the comment. The LASIK is one of the best things I've ever done, but I always hated wearing glasses/contacts. I was also so shortsighted that I'd have to wear my glasses or lenses from the instant I got out of bed to the time I went to sleep and wanted freedom from that.

Cricket T - You sound quite unbalanced! I hope you don't have tiny little feet as well.

Anon and T - Okay, I was only joking about the penis reduction. You girls!

Charm B - Yes, I agree on the satisfaction thing, but I wonder how I'd feel if, with all the effort in the world, I couldn't get the desired results.

Darwin said...

Interestingly, the drug you mention has known side effects of diarrhoea and flatulence. I'm not too sure how sexy being stick thin is, but surely constantly farting and having to wear adult diapers is not a good trade-off? Then again RD you might be into that, given all your farting and poo stories on this blog!

Rhythmic Diaspora said...

Darwin - I was listening to a woman from GSK on the radio as I drove home last night. She was asked about the flatulence and diarrhea and said that the pill should be taken in conjuction with a low fat diet, that those specific side effects only occur if the user takes the pill while continuing with a high fat diet.

The general tone was that the drug is supposed to increase the effectiveness of a diet, rather than act as a substitute for one.

On the not so serious side, the farting side effect is one that just makes me laugh, as you can imagine!

PseudoRandom said...

I don't agree with plastic surgery to hide the signs of ageing, but I don't have a problem with plastic surgery that rectifies body issues that may result in physical or mental health problems, as long as it doesn't become a quick fix.

As for the diet pill...I'm a bit wary of it being over-the-counter, especially because its success relies on good diet control...something that, in my opinion, should be monitored.

Bimal said...

Plastic surgery.. naah! I like all my body parts to age in a synchronized manner.

Just yesterday I saw a documentary on the telly about men getting bum surgery... Jeez that looked painful.

Cricket Tragic said...


My feet are bigger than normal! I sometimes have a hard time finding shoes! :P

Kalusudda said...

I think RD might be able to do a side business with his stealth farting business!
I am with RD regarding plastic surgery and other stuff. Thank to my parents I think I got tight stuff that I will be able to keep for ages to come!
Boobs, lets just say I have yellow fever!
Cricket Tragic, Come to US, I wear 11.5 US(11 British)size and there is no problem finding them!

Sachintha said...

Nah... I'd rather opt for workouts which I'd never do...