This identity thing......again!

I published this recently and it got a few comments. To be honest the comments from someone called JIT initially pissed me off, quite a bit. But then I thought about them and decided to write this post to try to put my views across. Perhaps JIT didn't intend to sound as aggressive as my first reactions suggested but the comments made me think. They made me think about what right I have to call myself both Sri Lankan and British.

It's a topic I've ruminated on before and I'm sure this won't be the last time. Academics have done PhDs and numerous intellectual pondering on it and it's something that I have a keen, strictly non academic, interest in.

JIT asks me in his (although it may well be a her) first comment which team I would support in a cricket match, England or Sri Lanka? Then JIT goes on to say, in response to my answer of "Sri Lanka":

"Isn't that a form of disloyalty to your nation, whose citizenship and you hold, given that you enjoy the benefits of such citizenship! "

I'd like to expand on my answer.

In terms of passport and citizenship I am British and have been since the day I was born. I was born in London to Sri Lankan parents. Since then I have lived all my life in London, and I'm proud to think of myself as a Londoner and a Brit. I've got one of those dreary South London accents, Hounslow is pronounced "Aaarnsler" and a geezer is a bloke, not one of those things that spurt water out of the ground, or out of Iceland, or any other supermarket. Most importantly I understand the offside rule.

Oh yes, I live in London, work in London and adore it.

On the other hand both my parents are of Sri Lankan origin, I've travelled regularly there since I was a small child. I can kiss people by doing the cheek sniffing thing without batting an eyelid. I can stand in a lift and listen to people doing the nose clearing, throat gurgling thing that would get you arrested in London, without even noticing it. I can pinch the cheek of a small child and say "my how you've grown" like the best of them and I can wake up every morning with my sarong mysteriously wrapped around my ears like I always do. Come to think of it I'm unsure whether the sarong movement thing is just me or all sarong at night wearing men.

I have more relatives than I can count in Sri Lanka, far more friends than I deserve and many are people I feel as if I grew up with, such was the amount of time we seemed to spend in each other's houses. The older I get the more often I travel to Sri Lanka and the more I discover of its people and its places. The more I discover the more I grow to appreciate my heritage.

Yet none of that changes my affinity for London, England or Great Britain. It's not an "either or" situation, it's an abundance situation. My fondness for one doesn't reduce my fondness for the other.

Parents will recognise this straight away but it's the best example I can think of; When you have your first child you think that it's impossible to love anything any more, that your love knows no bounds and has no limits. Then, when you have the next one you feel the same amount of love for that one too, without reducing the love for the first.

Well in a way that's how I feel for my two Countries. The UK is wonderful in so many ways and I have been lucky that my parents were able to settle here and give me the opportunities I have had, many of which I may not have had in Sri Lanka. But I also think I have, and do, contribute in many ways to the UK and its economy. I work, I pay taxes, I employ people and, above all, I spend a vast amount of money in its drum shops.

Sri Lanka is my heritage, of that I am proud. But it's deeper than just an affinity for it because I went there once on a holiday or because I've got an Aunt there somewhere.

I met someone recently who told me a theory on what she called "third culture" people, a new culture of which I am a member. Third culture people are those whose parents are of one culture but who then live and are brought up in a different one, resulting in them having a "third culture". I scraped in as an honourary third culture person even though I was actually born in the UK.

Now there is an interesting angle to this theory. Said friend told me she thought third culture men are "deeper" in many ways compared to others and that this appeals to some women. I think I proved her theory totally incorrect with my shallowness and lack of sex appeal but it made me think. If I could find women who shared her opinion and I could talk about deep things then I'd be a lady killer, if I was good looking.

Apparently there are loads of third culture kids out there, I'm guessing at least twenty or maybe twenty five. But, do we share the same opinions on identity? Do we all feel that we are of one common identity? Or does the fact we are all third culture kids give us an identity in its own right?

I can't see it. I can see that a third culture, by the definition given, does exist. I'm just not convinced that it exists with many similarities. I've got two brothers, both brought up in exactly the same circumstances as me, we even have the same parents. Yet two of us share a passion for Sri Lanka and the other one doesn't. I've got a close friend born to Sri Lankan parents and brought up in the UK who would probably prefer to be white and of English heritage if he could choose.

There are others who share my passion for Sri Lanka, who have been born to Sri Lankan parents and brought up all around the world. Sri Lanka is actually a very easy Country to feel passionate about isn't it? Sometimes people ask me why I feel the way I do about it. People who have the same passion never ask, they just know.

There are lots of possible reasons; the most obvious is that it's a Country that has an abundance of natural beauty and colour. I wonder how I would feel if my parents were from a less exotic place, like Belgium or Norway. They're both lovely places I'm sure, I just wouldn't want to be from one of them. I like chocolate but give me a good rice and curry any day, I've got nothing against fjords but really do prefer a good tri shaw.

I was in Colombo a few weeks ago and was talking with the Warrior Bee lady. She mentioned that she saw me as very British compared to herself. Yet she normally thinks of herself as quite British anyway. Java, when we were out and conversing in intellectual mode, said that I was less Sri Lankan than he had imagined me to be. When we tried to figure out why this was the only feasible explanation was that my accent was pure "sarf London". I didn't sound Sri Lankan enough, yet from reading my blog Java had expected me to be slightly different.

Even more confusing is the fact that, if I meet someone here in London with a strong Sri Lankan accent, I'll usually think of them as more Sri Lankan than myself. I'm easily confused though.

The most interesting aspect about these statements is the fact that we often look at two cultural identities as being mutually exclusive. So, in my case, there's often a mindset that the more Sri Lankan I am, the less British I am or vice versa.

It's actually a scarcity mentality. Taking the approach that there's a 100% nationality which is then divided into its components. That's all well and good when we're looking at bloodlines and heritage but I don't accept it for myself. I would class myself as 100% British and also almost 100% Sri Lankan. Why? Because I really feel that I'm very lucky to have been blessed with both cultures.

My overall conclusion is that cultural identity is a matter of personal choice, of individual feeling. I don't think it's about your passport or which cricket team you support.

It's about what's in your heart.

What do you think?