Search me

I pay minimal attention to the myriad of statistics that are available for this blog. I know that, if it took my fancy, I could look at all sorts of useless information, from the exact time and day that the Pope last left a comment to how many views I am likely to get next Wednesday afternoon.

If you're someone who is interested in all that stuff then good luck to you, it's just not a motivator for me. As bloggers we all like to know whether we have a readership but I get all the feedback I need to know from comments, links and emails.

But, there are two tools I glance at now and again which do interest me. The Technorati thing, which frankly I still don't understand, and the "referrals" category on my sitemeter.

Here I must explain, I understand how Technorati works, it's all to do with how many other blogs have links to your own. The bit that perplexes me is why I regularly see my own ranking jump about 150,000 places on a day to day basis. I swear to you I have seen it go from 366,000 on one day to 225,000 or so the next and then back to the 300,000s the following day. If it were steadily increasing or decreasing I could understand but this flummoxes me. (Sach - are there 2 "m"s in "flummox"?)

"Referrals" is the way in which people have accessed London, Lanka and drums and shows whether you have searched for something or come via a link. The links are usually kottu or zSri and also there are a few where people have arrived via other people's blogs. If you're one of the bloggers who have linked to me then you have my thanks and promises of eternal indebtness and drum solos dedicated to you for as long as you want etc.

The aspect that fascinates, intrigues, amuses and continually amazes me is looking at the words or phrases people have searched for, usually on google, to get here. Many make me smile, often with a little bit of self satisfaction, but often with a scrunched up face asking "Why?" Here are some of them:

Panda prostitute joke eats shoots leaves
sexy gorgeous
Sushi for kids
Familiarity breeds acceptance
Describe Southall area in Londonstani
Beheaded in accident
Lankan pride Spongebob

Come with me and I'll talk you through the emotions here.

There's a small bit of pride that someone might have been looking for the Panda joke and has used my blog as a source of reference, there's a bewilderment that "sexy gorgeous" led anyone here, inquisitiveness as to why anyone would be looking for "Sushi for kids".

Then with "Familiarity breeds acceptance" there's a nagging feeling. I have a vague recollection of typing that somewhere but can't remember the details and frankly can't be bothered to search for it. "Describe Southall area in Londonstani" gives me a dichotomy of feelings of pride and fear and sheer "What the fuckishness?" Pride that this blog has been used as a source for such information, fear that some poor chap (probably an American) may have believed something I had written, and "What the fuckishness? for the same reasons.

"Beheaded in accident" just worries me. The internet is a wild thing but I am disappointed someone has searched for that phrase and it has brought them here.

"Lankan pride spongebob" fills me with trepidation. I cannot think of any use of the word "Spongebob" other than in relation to Mr Squarepants himself, so the logical conclusion is that someone is thinking of launching a gay (hence the pride) Sri Lankan cartoon character who lives under the sea and is a talking sponge. I reckon it would be a massive success and could be a shining symbol for equal rights for sponges.

But they're nothing. The real gems are to come. There are the some that make me really feel proud, angry, seriously puzzled and perplexed or very amused. I'm going to leave you wanting more and save these for another post.

Here's a starter for you:

Men opening trousers to pee in urinal

Honestly, I ask you!