Monday, September 1, 2008

Helping Sex Addicts

I saw in the news recently that David Duchovny, or Fox Mulder as we know him, has recently entered a clinic to be treated for sex addiction.

How cool is that?

Wikipedia tells us that "Sexual addiction is a term used to describe the behavior of a person who has an unusually intense sex drive or obsession and addiction with sex."

But why is it that only famous people, those who have been caught dipping their soldier in other people's boiled eggs, are the ones who are diagnosed with sex addiction?

Normal chaps don't get carted off to a clinic when they're caught in a compromising position with their secretary do they?

I think I've discovered my dream job; working as a counsellor for female patients in one of these sex addicts' clinics. Obviously the way to treat these fabulously wealthy and glamorous women, many of whom would have have plastic surgery to give them perfect looking bodies, would be through a process of gradual withdrawal. They'd have to have a lot of sex and then reduce the amount they get over a period of time.

Well I'm willing to put my balls on the line, I'll step in and help the ladies, with little or no thought for myself. It's a tough job but somebody's got to do it.

I've always thought of myself as a kind and considerate chap, someone who wants to do his bit and to put others first. This would be my way of helping these poor unfortunates, of giving something back to society.

I've been sending CVs round to the clinics and am waiting for my first interview.

You'll be kept posted.

14 comments:

Soixante Neuf said...

Wow, R!!!

Socially responsible AND a Stud Muffin.

Sigh.

"Well I'm willing to put my balls on the line, I'll step in and help the ladies, with little or no thought for myself. It's a tough job but somebody's got to do it."

Chuck Norris couldn't have said it better himself.

You should be proud.

Java Jones said...

Hey RD, looks like you may have some clients from the kottu line up. Notice the sexually oriented blogs on the increase? And one of your fans '6' is leading the procession. But the question remains - if you cure the addicts, we may not have those well-written and titillating posts to get off on. And that wouldn't do HER fans any good at all, would it??!!

Soixante Neuf said...

java!!! Are you calling me a sex addict?????

Well I never!

Rhythmic Diaspora said...

6 - Maybe not a sex addict, but a girl who likes a sausage in the morning!

Soixante Neuf said...

R - Chee......

Rhythmic Diaspora said...

6 - "Sausages, mushrooms and bacon" I believe you said.

Soixante Neuf said...

R - Oh right. THOSE sausages.

FINroD said...

hahahaha oh my.... things just get funnier & funnier....

on other news.. mate u really need to get laid dont u.. hehehehe..

Zephyr said...

RD ... think you're adorabubble ... Can I take you home? Can i? Can I please? *beams at RD*

:D

Anonymous said...

I find it greatly amusing.. and yet slightly bipolar of soixante neuf.. to talk so candidly about all of her 6 orgasms (slight exaggeration i believe).. who did what to whom...

and yet the mere mention of a sausage in the morning from RD, gets her back in the innocent little lankan girl cave.

could it be.. that only some sausages will do.

Scrumpulicious said...

Ditto Finrod!

Java Jones said...

Soix - gee you sure sounded like it - was I, perchance, mistaken? Anyway, addict or not, looks like you're getting folk addicted to your 'stuff'!

Keep it coming!

Soixante Neuf said...

anonymous: That word sausage is just... Crude. My innocent-Sri-Lankan-girl-ness was dying to be let out so i let her have her way. Also, I just like saying "chee". On other matters, what you choose to believe is your prerogative. I just write the stuff.

java: Haha.. Soix... Love it! The 'stuff' will keep, ahem, coming again. And again.

Gourmet Swinger said...

You can't just wean them away. These poor sexaholics have never been properly satisfied, so you have provide them with complete satisfaction by using the proper equipment. For example, the Sybian will give them a proper workout. You should have several of them for your clients as a kind of aerobics class. You will easily get burned out trying to service so many clients all at once without help. I know. I've tried.