Reporting In

I've been taking a few pictures in these past days and this post is really just for two reasons, a bit of a vanity post.

Firstly it's to stop Noorie going mental, doolally or whatever term she used. I can't quite remember her choice of word, but I do remember that it was something I don't want to be held responsible for, honoured as I would be in one way. Secondly it's to whet your appetite, if that's possible, to give you some snippets of what I've been up to, without giving too much away.

One of the things I've been paying lots of attention to in these recent days is Singapore's approach to retail and the quirky and simply wicked things that one can buy here. I think it must be how the retail environment evolves in any country. A bit like Maslow's hierarchy only applied to shopping.

The first stage is when the shops sell only the essentials. I guess that would be things like food, basic clothing and iPods. The clothes would be those of the simplest variety; things like Marks and Spencer and Calvin Klein, nothing too flashy or expensive.

At the next level the shops must sell much more variety, but of the same basic items. This is when you can go out and choose from any number of brands of jeans, a vast array of T shirts and maybe even more than one kind of ladies' hair removal device.

The most advanced level is only achieved after many weeks. It's the stage that Singapore is in and it's all a bit mad.

It must take a country literally weeks to get to this stage and it surely is the dream of many an up and coming nation to get its retail industry to this advanced level. It's the level at which all needs are fulfilled easily and cheaply and people start to focus on wants. This means that all manner of totally stupid but fascinatingly interesting things become available in all the shops.

You more than likely know enough about me to know that I really do love shopping. It's taken me a while to accept the fact, I went through a long period of denial and was racked with guilt for many years, particularly being born into a Sri Lankan family.

The British are more liberal about things like this and I knew it would be a struggle for my parents to accept it. All in all they've been surprisingly good about it but I don't flaunt it. For example if they have people round for lunch and I return laden with shopping bags, I'll usually hide the bags and pretend I've just come back from football or the pub. I'm not totally okay with this but I do it out of respect.

But here in Singapore I've been unashamedly browsing through row after row and shop after shop of totally useless paraphernalia and I've been loving it, as that Justin Timberland fellow would say. I've been buying some of the things too.

Yesterday I successfully procured some more of the jelly type things that I like so much. Little bundles of joy and crap that taste like heaven and gelatine. I shan't tell you too much as I've taken some pictures of them and will do a separate post complete with said photos. However, I will tell you that I ate eight of them at about five in the morning. That will give you an idea of the level of excitement contained within me.

I found myself gazing with awe at a light, but not just any light. This was a special one that shone in an infinite number of colours, well perhaps slightly less than infinite, maybe ten or fifteen. But it was the lighting equivalent of fuzzy logic and you just touch the bit on the circular switch, like a circular rainbow with different colours on it, and the bulb instantly emits light of the selected colour. Fanfuckingtastic I think, the only question is how many of the things and for whom should I buy.

And I've spent time looking at these advanced retail concepts with interest. I've marvelled at Christmas decorations that are so bright, so tacky and so completely in your face that I want to go to House Of Fashions and stroll around the mens' trouser section just for its peace, tranquility and general feeling of calmness. Christmas decorations and heat are an uncomfortable mix for me. I'm used to cold and wet and darkness everywhere at this time of the year.

So I'll tell you more about all these things in the weeks to come. For now I'll carry on with my investigations, sampling and pondering.

Back soon, hopefully with accompanying pictures.