Today's award is, as it says in the title, for the funniest post of the year. The next award for humour is for the funniest blog, which requires an ongoing level of consistency in wit and side splittingness in its writing. And I do realise that consistency, by definition, has to be ongoing anyway, otherwise it would be just a flash of wit, which rhymes with sack of shit of course.
Choosing a guest judge for this was a hard task. My natural choice would have been the person who is the winner, I don't think I need to tell you why that wouldn't work.
I was tempted to ask Mahinda Rajapakse to write a short speech but I hear he has other things to deal with right now. I thought about asking that Rajpal chap, the one who was editor of Lakbima News (I don't know if he still is), but he'd only use other peoples' jokes in his speech and pretend he'd written them himself anyway. Then we'd have to go through the whole "I didn't think I had to ask for permission" business and that's all a bit tedious.
I even thought of asking the Maharajah of
Then I realised that my old friend George W Bush isn't doing much these days so I had a word and he's agreed to help out. Admittedly he did struggle with some of the more sophisticated humour in the Sri Lankan blogosphere but we eventually settled on some of the most hilarious posts as the nominees:
1. Cerno for this post about the Royal Colombo Flatulist Association's Annual Recital.
2. Dramaqueen, Hissyfits and themadcatwoman for this little chunk of laughter in a post.
3. Java Jones for his second letter to Santa. He may be trippy but, even at the ripe old age of 84, Java shows the youngsters that real wit needs intelligence. And drugs can help too.
4. Noorie, for her Bra Head Friends post, even there are a couple of them. Most people must realise that she's mad, but this is genius. Where on Earth did she come up with the idea to ask friends to pose with a bra on their head? There's always one twat who doesn't do it and just sends a normal picture in though isn't there?
That's it. I must admit to feeling like one of those chaps who host comedy awards, the pressure being on me to be funny in front of a discerning audience and all. Well the best thing I can do is get on with things, to hand you over to Mr President and let him announce things with his characteristic wit and charm. Do not misunderestimate him.
"Well RD, thanks for the introduction. This year I've spent many a happy hour and moment reading the many blogs that make up the Sri Lankan blogosphere. Your country interests me greatly. Whenever times have been tough, when the criticism has got to me and I've started to think I might be messing up, perhaps by invading the wrong country or something, I look at the situation in Sri Lanka and realise things could be so much worse.
As I said to Pope Benedict in April last year 'thank you, your Holiness, awesome speech.' though that didn't go down too well either. I don't particularly like it when people put words in my mouth either, by the way, unless I say it myself.
Without further ramblings I'll announce this year's champion of wit. Yes, I am pleased to give the award to Dramaqueen, Hissyfit and themadcatwoman for her fabulous laugh a line post about men, how to annoy them and tidy their rooms specifically. The first time I read this I laughed almost as much as when I was told I'd be running against a black man in the election. But the post is still funny. And now, back to RD."
Thank you Mr Pres.
The other people have all written posts that have made us all chortle and chuckle but this is a well deserved winner. I only discovered DQ's blog in the latter part of last year but it is rather good and rather funny. Strangely there's something very British in her humour, I don't know whether that's a compliment or an insult.
Have a good weekend all. Back with more next week.