Monday, November 27, 2006

Parental situations!

I was sitting with the two girls relaxing and watching TV. The twelve year old turned to myself and her ten year old sister and said

"I've got a joke"

"OK, let's hear it then", said I, only slightly worried. Twelve year old girls are dangerous, as are girls of all ages.

"OK, a Panda bear walks into a pub."

"A ha" we replied.

"So it eats, shoots and leaves". She said.

I laughed, trying not to sound too enthusiastic but also keen to make it sound genuine and thus avoid any type of inquisition. My knowledge of that joke involves prostitutes, bears, cigarettes, dictionaries and sex. I didn't really want to know whether my daughter actually knew what the joke means. I sure as hell didn't want to have to explain it.

In times and situations like this a smaller sibling can be relied upon to come out with something unexpected. She did.

"I don't get it"

I contemplated jumping out of the window but opted not to. I like to confront and face any challenging situations like the alpha male that I am.

So I kept dead quiet.

Twelve year old said,

"You don't get it?"

"No" says younger sis.

"Well a Panda bear eats shoots and leaves doesn't it?"

"Oh no" I'm now thinking.

"Yes it does" says younger sis.

"So the Panda goes into a pub right?" says twelve yo.

"Yes" replies younger sis

"And it eats, shoots and then leaves."

The smaller, but more menacing sister still looked confused. I was thinking that either myself or the elder daughter would have to explain "shoots". I didn't want this to happen. But it did.

Elder sister said to the younger one,

"You know, the panda's got a gun. It goes into a pub and eats, shoots (she makes a firing gun action with her hand) and then leaves the pub."

"Oh I get it. Yeah good one" said ten year old.

We carried on watching TV.

I breathed a loud sigh of relief.


sach said...

CUTE was what I thought. Hehe. See, my prediction is coming true. Soon you're going to need a separate blog for the girls :p I hope you continue blogging for at least the next 10 years because it is going to be very interesting to observe your relationship with your daughters.

Darwin said...

Ok I hate to sound blonde here but I don't get the dirty joke. I always thought this joke was about punctuation...

Please clear this up!

Rhythmic Diaspora said...

Sach - I'm sure it won't be too long before you see me being dragged around CMB by them! They can be cute, just in a very scary way.

Darwin - I'll have to do a separate post and tell the joke. It is about punctuation but can only be fully explained by telling it. I promise to resolve the matter for you.

For now though, goodnight all, I've just got in from watching some excellent music and must get my head down.

Indyana said...

What a scene that must have been! cute and funny!

~ lo$t $oul ~ said...

man you wre in some deep ****... if you had to explain the real deal of the joke!! glad your lil one was not tht inquistive!! cheerrs

Charlotte said...

I could not stop laughing when I read this post =D hehe
Soon they will not be so innocent!

the1truecoolguy said...

Darwin - Don't feel bad, I always thought this was a punctuation joke as well. Looks like we're both going to learn something new!

Rhythmic Diaspora said...

Ian, Darwin - I promise to post the joke up as soon as I get time, I've been a bit busy lately but I'll type it up and I'm sure you won't find it that funny!